Elephant in the room

http://tiny.cc/fgw8pw

What a great start to the New Year. Such a fun lunch with some of the ladies from Redeemer. Thank you for such a fun time. We all contributed to the meal. Lots of fun, food and so much laughter.
Who would have thought a game of True or False would cause so many tears of laughter. There were some classic moments which I had to write down. I know some of the fun was being part of it, in the moment. So perhaps this is just a record for us to remember the moments. There are a couple of scrbook pages that need to be made.
There turned out to be a theme for the game. We learnt a lot of things about elephants.

Elders

What a night. I wasn't expecting such a powerful night.

It was a significant night for Redeemer Central. We appointed our Elders. I was blown away by the experience.

I'd had a very busy day at work and was trying to work out if I should go home, get changed, get a lift to 101 or stay at work. There was a huge desire to go home and freshen up but I knew if I did I'd struggle to come out again. So to avoid that I stayed on at work.

I was looking forward to the evening although with not much emotion - felt quite flat about it. That was until moments before I left work then a wave of excitement hit me. I felt as if I was floating walking there, in fact it didn't feel a usual walk there. I should have realised by the size of the battle I had to get there it was going to be a good evening.

Welcome 2012

http://tinyurl.com/76artdo

Over a month has gone since I last wrote here. Oops. I cannot believe how fast time is going. At times I sit and wonder what I have to show for it. Does that really matter in the eternal-sense not having "things" to show for it? The question really is - have I made use of the time? Hmm, I think that needs to be addressed.

I find it strange when I start writing, I have an idea where I want the post to go, then suddenly, like above it's taken a total new, surprising direction. I'll come back to where the last paragraph ended in another post.

I cannot believe how much has happened recently in/for Redeemer Central. It is so amazing. Sunday 8th January 2012 was our first service in our new home. The week before people gave up their time to clean and decorate the building. What a transformation. I love the way the character of the building is still visible and hasn't been hidden. I feel it has only been enhanced. Old meets new comes to mind - Redeemer have put their touch to the building, tastefully.

It feels like we've always been using the building, not our first service - like coming home. There is room for growth - a great visual reminder of why we are here, why any church is here...


I spent a lovely Christmas with Chris, Barbie, Megs, Pam and the family. It was so good to have a week with them instead of the usual 2/3 days quick visit. I'd left it too late to contact people to see if I could come and see them. Out of a potential 6 visits I made 0. I should have got in touch as soon as the flights were booked to see who was around. I had wanted to make use of having a base in Essex to visit people. It was good not to have to run around everywhere, which it probably would have been had everyone got back to me, so it was a blessing as I did need to have a rest after the last few months at work.

I had mixed feelings at New Year. Apart from having a bug and being in bed, looking ahead to next 12 months was difficult at first. It's amazing how Scripture can stand out at the right time. I was listening to UCB on my DAB radio and heard

Anxiety is looking to the future without God

That made me stop and think. I know I cannot have a future with God. So that has helped me to stay calmer and look at the next 12 months in a different light. I feel quite blessed to know of a couple of major changes that will happen this year. I'm not too sure when exactly they'll occur but I'm pretty confident they will happen this year.

Redeemer Central has continued to grow, not just in numbers, spiritually too. We spent a few months at the end of last year going through the Prodigal Son parable using a study guide by Tim Keller. It was great to go through this in our Citygroup knowing the rest of the Citygroups were studying the same. It was such a good time together we are continuing to study over the next few months. I do miss the bible studies I had in Nis, a chance to go deeper with others. I hadn't realised how much I missed them until we started studying together in Citygroup.

Talking of Citygroups...Citygroup South has now multiplied, tonight in fact. I'm so excited I cannot sleep so I thought I'd update the blog. It is amazing how quickly the group has grown. There are 32 people in the South who have shown interest in our midweek group. We are now 2 groups in the South.

Going back to the changes this year ...I think the first change will be my job. The new structures have been issued and my role isn't there. Without going into too much detail as it's a blog in the public domain and also I don't want to be dishonourable - I came to the conclusion that I need to move on in my role due to working relationships. That is such a hard decision. I absolutely love my role - it's all the politics that go with it that is a problem. I'm keeping faith that God knows my heart for my job and will provide a better role. I like the contact with the students.

The restructuring is going to be a difficult time. I keep being reminded to look at what is best for me and not to worry about the Programme, it's hard after all the work I've put into it. Things are working so much better now, procedures are in place, documents are to hand. Part of me feels all of the work I've done is for nothing - as in the amount of work the Team Leaders have to do they won't have time to maintain what I've put in place. Why put me in this role only to be taken out of it 2 years later?

I have to remember I cannot see the bigger picture. I need to have faith that the people in charge of the restructuring also have a bigger picture and this will work well in it.

I need to keep track on my thoughts about my job. It's so hard to let it go. I don't mean I'm not caring about it now, far from it. It's hard not knowing when I'll be moving on, where I'll be moving on to and if there's time in between roles. But isn't that where faith comes in? Believing the unseeable?

The other major change is Chris, Barbie, Megs and Pam will be emigrating to Australia sometime from July onwards. I am so happy for them, it's something they've been working towards since 2005 and it's finally got the go ahead. On the other hand, being totally selfish - it's making me so sad. I love them to bits. It will break my heart to see them go. I cannot think of that at the moment, it's too painful. Nope - cannot write the rest at the mo...
 
Anyway...desperately trying to think of something else to write. I cannot, so I think I'll leave this post for now.
 
Praise

• Redeemer Central's city-centre building
• Citygroup:South multiplication
• Continued emotional healing throughout last year
• Able to have a summer holiday

Prayer

• I have courage to continue with emotional healing
• Issues still need to deal with are identified
• Peace re job situation
• Improved general health (no more colds!)

Rain, wind, baptisms and friendships

http://tiny.cc/x4es5

At the beginning of November - the 5th until 7th - Redeemer Central went mobile. Well, to Ballintoy to be exact. We had a weekend away. I was excited for so many reasons - one being I hadn't ventured up to the north coast yet and was finally going to get to see it, or so I thought. I saw very little, but it doesn't matter just means another day out exploring later on.
The hard times were hard. I was feeling very challenged. I really wanted to spend as much time with people as possible so when I had to go upstairs it was a battle of the mind. Eventually I got to the stage where I realised that going upstairs was a good thing - a positive thing - as long as I made it back downstairs again.

We had a service on Saturday night and Sunday morning which were both powerful. God gave me a scripture before we started to worship. I wasn't sure what to do with it so just left it for a while. I still haven't the confidence to know if it is for me or needs to be shared yet. I remember towards the end of the service more was being said (I cannot remember if DC preached or not) and it was becoming clearer to me the scripture was to be shared. As soon as I realised that there was no hesitation, I had to bring it. I think I would grabbed the microphone had the meeting ended - I felt that strongly it was for now. I was reminded of Isaiah 40:29

He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might he increases strength. Even youths shall faint and be weary, and young men shall fall exhausted, but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.

This passage was given to me a few weeks ago and I felt there were too many others who felt the same and who needed to be reminded that however they were feeling or going through God could still use them and He'd give them the strength to endure. I also think this verse was brought again on Sunday just gone. We had four baptisms on Saturday. We all went down to Ballintoy Harbour which was slightly sheltered. I cannot imagine how cold the water was. I didn't realise how cold I had got until I got back and took off my coat. I ended up with more layers on under the duvet for about 20 mins trying to warm up again. Thankfully lunch was homemade soup which definitely helped restore some heat.

We had planned on going for a walk in the afternoon but the weather had other ideas. It was pouring with rain and didn't let up for ages. Some people had brought some games which people were huddled around, there was sharing of make up skills, hand massages were done and a bit of fun all round, me thinks, was had. I was amazed how many people came along.

My eyes were opened again to how many people are part of the Redeemer community. There were some unable to come to the weekend but even without them there were alot more than I had realised.
It was so good to spend quality time with people and get to speak to some I hadn't before. I found it a struggle being with people the whole weekend. I found a way of coping, head up to the dorm and relax until felt able to cope again.