Last trip to Bournemouth

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I've just come back from a great Ladies Festival in Bournemouth. Thank you so much Chris and Barb for inviting me. I was so pleased to be able to celebrate with you. It was also lovely to hear how much you mean to so many (and that's was only a part of your life). It wasn't a surprise in the sense that so many people love you guys and miss will miss you. It was so good to see how many good and genuine friends you have.

I really wasn't prepared for the speeches. I should have realised when I first sat down at the table and felt emotional it would be difficult when it came to your speeches. Actually it was too much at the ladies blessing/song. I'm even blubbing thinking back to it. As soon as you left the room I had to get to the ladies and have a good howl.

I cannot believe how long I lasted on Saturday. It was a very long day. I got up and went swimming at 8with Pam and Kerry. It was a great way to start the day. It was great to get some lengths in. They were shorter than my normal so was able to get more done without stopping. I cannot get into a swimming pool and do more chatting than swimming.

I had hoped to get some rest before I met up with Sharon later. There were a few who wanted to go down town after breakfast so I joined them. Hmm, plan for rest didn't happen. By the time Kerry and I had finished shopping and headed back towards the hotel it was time to meet Sharon.

Talk about time flying. Sharon and I sat on the beach catching up and getting lots of rubbish blown in our direction! Before we knew it it was fast approaching 4 pm - later than I wanted to start getting ready. It was good seeing you, Shaz again. It felt like it was only yesterday we'd seen each other -apart from the amount of news we had to catch up on. I know we're not good at forward planning, but get your diary out and get a flight booked over here, hun! You did say it would be this year...

I got ready in 45 minutes. I was very calm, even when my hair wasn't doing what I wanted it to. Then my zip on my dress broke. So instead of panicking I realised there should be people having per-reception drinks in Chris and Barb's room. I thought I'd ring for some help. That was evidence of improvement in me - asking someone for help and not being so independent. Barb came down, took the dress back up while I put on Friday's dress. If it came down to it I'd have worn it again. I'm not sure how long it took but with a bit of pinning and covering we managed to get the zip up as far as possible and cover most of the rest. So original dress was back on again.

I still don't know how I managed to make it to around 2.45am and get up on Sunday for breakfast just after 9. Probably having a coach at 11am helped!

It was so hard saying bye to Chris and Barb - not too sure where Megs went. I'm so glad they didn't decide to move to Oz straight after this weekend. I wouldn't have been able to come. At least this way there are a few more memories to be made before we have to say see you soon. I'm not too sure when I stopped blubbing, at least it wasn't continuous.

I need to work out when my next visit will be. I know when I want to come over but need to see if my line manager will have a re-think about authorising it, but that's another story (and one that isn't appropriate to make public).

I find it hard returning home to an empty house after spending time away with people. Although it is different this time. I may have similar struggles to before but now have the head and heart knowledge of where I belong and know I am no longer defined by "being single". I am so much more than that.

Rain, wind, baptisms and friendships

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At the beginning of November - the 5th until 7th - Redeemer Central went mobile. Well, to Ballintoy to be exact. We had a weekend away. I was excited for so many reasons - one being I hadn't ventured up to the north coast yet and was finally going to get to see it, or so I thought. I saw very little, but it doesn't matter just means another day out exploring later on.
The hard times were hard. I was feeling very challenged. I really wanted to spend as much time with people as possible so when I had to go upstairs it was a battle of the mind. Eventually I got to the stage where I realised that going upstairs was a good thing - a positive thing - as long as I made it back downstairs again.

We had a service on Saturday night and Sunday morning which were both powerful. God gave me a scripture before we started to worship. I wasn't sure what to do with it so just left it for a while. I still haven't the confidence to know if it is for me or needs to be shared yet. I remember towards the end of the service more was being said (I cannot remember if DC preached or not) and it was becoming clearer to me the scripture was to be shared. As soon as I realised that there was no hesitation, I had to bring it. I think I would grabbed the microphone had the meeting ended - I felt that strongly it was for now. I was reminded of Isaiah 40:29

He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might he increases strength. Even youths shall faint and be weary, and young men shall fall exhausted, but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.

This passage was given to me a few weeks ago and I felt there were too many others who felt the same and who needed to be reminded that however they were feeling or going through God could still use them and He'd give them the strength to endure. I also think this verse was brought again on Sunday just gone. We had four baptisms on Saturday. We all went down to Ballintoy Harbour which was slightly sheltered. I cannot imagine how cold the water was. I didn't realise how cold I had got until I got back and took off my coat. I ended up with more layers on under the duvet for about 20 mins trying to warm up again. Thankfully lunch was homemade soup which definitely helped restore some heat.

We had planned on going for a walk in the afternoon but the weather had other ideas. It was pouring with rain and didn't let up for ages. Some people had brought some games which people were huddled around, there was sharing of make up skills, hand massages were done and a bit of fun all round, me thinks, was had. I was amazed how many people came along.

My eyes were opened again to how many people are part of the Redeemer community. There were some unable to come to the weekend but even without them there were alot more than I had realised.
It was so good to spend quality time with people and get to speak to some I hadn't before. I found it a struggle being with people the whole weekend. I found a way of coping, head up to the dorm and relax until felt able to cope again.