Welcome 2012

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Over a month has gone since I last wrote here. Oops. I cannot believe how fast time is going. At times I sit and wonder what I have to show for it. Does that really matter in the eternal-sense not having "things" to show for it? The question really is - have I made use of the time? Hmm, I think that needs to be addressed.

I find it strange when I start writing, I have an idea where I want the post to go, then suddenly, like above it's taken a total new, surprising direction. I'll come back to where the last paragraph ended in another post.

I cannot believe how much has happened recently in/for Redeemer Central. It is so amazing. Sunday 8th January 2012 was our first service in our new home. The week before people gave up their time to clean and decorate the building. What a transformation. I love the way the character of the building is still visible and hasn't been hidden. I feel it has only been enhanced. Old meets new comes to mind - Redeemer have put their touch to the building, tastefully.

It feels like we've always been using the building, not our first service - like coming home. There is room for growth - a great visual reminder of why we are here, why any church is here...


I spent a lovely Christmas with Chris, Barbie, Megs, Pam and the family. It was so good to have a week with them instead of the usual 2/3 days quick visit. I'd left it too late to contact people to see if I could come and see them. Out of a potential 6 visits I made 0. I should have got in touch as soon as the flights were booked to see who was around. I had wanted to make use of having a base in Essex to visit people. It was good not to have to run around everywhere, which it probably would have been had everyone got back to me, so it was a blessing as I did need to have a rest after the last few months at work.

I had mixed feelings at New Year. Apart from having a bug and being in bed, looking ahead to next 12 months was difficult at first. It's amazing how Scripture can stand out at the right time. I was listening to UCB on my DAB radio and heard

Anxiety is looking to the future without God

That made me stop and think. I know I cannot have a future with God. So that has helped me to stay calmer and look at the next 12 months in a different light. I feel quite blessed to know of a couple of major changes that will happen this year. I'm not too sure when exactly they'll occur but I'm pretty confident they will happen this year.

Redeemer Central has continued to grow, not just in numbers, spiritually too. We spent a few months at the end of last year going through the Prodigal Son parable using a study guide by Tim Keller. It was great to go through this in our Citygroup knowing the rest of the Citygroups were studying the same. It was such a good time together we are continuing to study over the next few months. I do miss the bible studies I had in Nis, a chance to go deeper with others. I hadn't realised how much I missed them until we started studying together in Citygroup.

Talking of Citygroups...Citygroup South has now multiplied, tonight in fact. I'm so excited I cannot sleep so I thought I'd update the blog. It is amazing how quickly the group has grown. There are 32 people in the South who have shown interest in our midweek group. We are now 2 groups in the South.

Going back to the changes this year ...I think the first change will be my job. The new structures have been issued and my role isn't there. Without going into too much detail as it's a blog in the public domain and also I don't want to be dishonourable - I came to the conclusion that I need to move on in my role due to working relationships. That is such a hard decision. I absolutely love my role - it's all the politics that go with it that is a problem. I'm keeping faith that God knows my heart for my job and will provide a better role. I like the contact with the students.

The restructuring is going to be a difficult time. I keep being reminded to look at what is best for me and not to worry about the Programme, it's hard after all the work I've put into it. Things are working so much better now, procedures are in place, documents are to hand. Part of me feels all of the work I've done is for nothing - as in the amount of work the Team Leaders have to do they won't have time to maintain what I've put in place. Why put me in this role only to be taken out of it 2 years later?

I have to remember I cannot see the bigger picture. I need to have faith that the people in charge of the restructuring also have a bigger picture and this will work well in it.

I need to keep track on my thoughts about my job. It's so hard to let it go. I don't mean I'm not caring about it now, far from it. It's hard not knowing when I'll be moving on, where I'll be moving on to and if there's time in between roles. But isn't that where faith comes in? Believing the unseeable?

The other major change is Chris, Barbie, Megs and Pam will be emigrating to Australia sometime from July onwards. I am so happy for them, it's something they've been working towards since 2005 and it's finally got the go ahead. On the other hand, being totally selfish - it's making me so sad. I love them to bits. It will break my heart to see them go. I cannot think of that at the moment, it's too painful. Nope - cannot write the rest at the mo...
 
Anyway...desperately trying to think of something else to write. I cannot, so I think I'll leave this post for now.
 
Praise

• Redeemer Central's city-centre building
• Citygroup:South multiplication
• Continued emotional healing throughout last year
• Able to have a summer holiday

Prayer

• I have courage to continue with emotional healing
• Issues still need to deal with are identified
• Peace re job situation
• Improved general health (no more colds!)

Are we so different?



www.tiny.cc/0mmi9

 Over recent months my experience of watching films or programmes or even reading has changed. Before, quite often I'd sit and watch or read and accept as face value. Lately though I either question my own beliefs or will spark off some form of thought process. I can understand it with some of the books I've been reading, although even then I don't just read it. Some of the films seem to be a sit and watch, hopefully a good story line, but not for me lately.


This got me thinking about human relationships. There are certain groups of people I'd find it difficult to get along with. That was difficult for me to admit to myself - it's not something I think about often. Part of this would be because of lack of understanding, some of their beliefs are different to mine. Then I thought about the film. They turned things around by not looking at what was different between them but by looking at what was similar and embracing that. So it's a film and not always as easy as it looks on film. Some differences are taught to us at an early age and become part of who we are. Is that an excuse? Sort of. Just because I believe something doesn't automatically make it right.


Beliefs over time can change too. I think that's important to remember. I know some of mine have, some drastically due to personal experiences over the last few years. Some are still being broken down and rebuilt into a healthier form. I've found it a painful experience looking at some of my beliefs but one I'm finding interesting at the same time. It's also important to remember that we are each a sum of many beliefs. Just because you may not agree with one of mine shouldn't automatically discount me as a person, I'm much more than that one belief.

I wonder what a difference it would make if we each took time to listen to people-groups we're uncomfortable with and find a common ground? All relationships take time to develop and have their ups and downs. It takes effort to build and maintain relationships. I live in a "right here, right now" and a "throw away" culture. Isn't it time to invest time in each other, whoever we are?

Non-roaming even though I have

I've tried 3 times to get my mobile connected to a Serbian network and 2 of those have been via international calls to UK. I give up. I'm told something different each time. Thankfully the restaurant has wi-fi so am connecting via that. Ok no phone calls or texts, but next best thing. I'll certainly be looking for new network when get home as it cannot be anything to do with the Serbian network as I cannot get roaming 2 hours from home and what's the point of that. Yes, I'm a bit upset about it! Dread to think how much the calls will cost. Taken at least 40 minutes to sort out so far.
I had so much peace on Friday travelling down the country with no phone. I couldn't let Naomi and Milos know which bus I was getting so they'd know when to collect me. I tried a public phone bo only to find they are now phone cards. I didn't have time at the bus station to get one so just got on the bus.
The bus arrived early at Soko Banja. I was unsure if I should wait or make my own way. I was feeling adventurous so decided to see if I could find the way (I wasn't sure they'd come to collect me). So with my case in tow off I went to the first crossroad. Hmm, by process of elimination there was sort of one possibility. I kept an eye out on the way to the bus station and didn't think it was that way.

tiny.cc/hp28h

I toyed with the idea of going into the first restaurant and seeing if I could use their phone but I didn't. I kept walking - yay, I found the park in the centar. Ok, I knew which way to walk and I had to turn right at some point. I'd only been to their apartment once before so my memory was a little faded and I was so tired by now. I turned right and walked a little. I wasn't too sure until I saw a shop and was encouraged as I remembered a shop near the apartments. I thought I saw the apartments in the distance and continued walking only for them to disappear. By this time I was wondering if I'd been hallucinating because of lack of sleep. I decided to continue to see if there was a sharp bend around the corner. If not I'd go to the shop and ask for help. If only I'd had their address or at least written down Milos' surname - I wouldn't be able to say it but at least someone could read it!
As I found the bend I looked to see the house, a sign for the restaurant - of course, it's Kaskade and the apartments. I looked up to see Naomi on her balcony. I left my suitcase on the steps up to the door as Milos was on way down to collect the suitcase. The three flights seemed to take forever - only because I was tired.
Milos had gone to the bus station and spoke to either the bus driver or a ta xi driver to be told there was an English lady on the bus and she spoke very good Serbian. I hardly spoke any. Perhaps that's the secret, be good at what I can say and say no more!
Relaxing day today. For me it's warm but locals are wrapped up. It's great being out and feeling warm again. We took the boys out a couple of times today. They both had bad night last night and we were coping with that.
I'm being reminded again what having children is about. It's so challenging. Lovely and rewarding, at the same time. Also seeing the way different cultures deal with bringing up baby. I think my thoughts are more about the culture and their beliefs as opposed to specifically thinking about parenting. It must be because I'm out of my own culture and have a bit more time to see things.
It's also got me thinking about national identity and how much conflict can be caused in the name of it. We have to have somewhere we belong and feel connected to. Sometimes that can be threatened by politics, religion, leaders, I suppose anything that can challenge us. It's how we decide to react that's important. Do we lash out in fear, goad others into our "cause" or work it out another way? Do people helping us support us or are they along for the ride, on the bandwagon or because it's an inherited view?
I feel that working out which of my beliefs are my own for a reason and which are inherited is important. I am not disrespecting previous generations if I don't agree with their view. To me it feels more respectful after having looked into why they feel that way. It can bring a deeper relationship.
We are all individuals who have different life experiences even within close families. I can view the same situation in a different way to the person next to me therefore can have a different view.
I know it's important for me to know in my head and heart who I am. Lately I've been looking at untrue beliefs - why I hold them and why I've developed them. It's been a very interesting journey so far. There have been a few where the root of the problem has been revealed to me by the Holy Spirit. It's amazing how clear His revelation is and the gentle way He is doing this. Oh yes, it's painful but knowing I'm being set free from potentially life-threatening beliefs is great. It's a great example of how much better Jesus knows us than we know ourselves.
When was the last you examined your beliefs?