Monday, 26 November 2012

Enough already

Bet you thought I'd forgotten about you, hey? Well, I've had to withdraw from a lot of things to be able to get through each day. Then I relaxed and couldn't keep things in anymore.

I'm off work for a couple of weeks due to work-related stress. I find it awful at work. It's strange, in some regards it has improved this academic year. Just a shift where the oppression is coming from. Unfortunately it seems as if everyone below it is now feeling the pain. It feels like something is trying to smother the goodness out of the workforce.

I've had a rough few weeks at work. You wouldn't believe it if I wrote about the first week. Talk about...well not even sure there's a word to sum up what occurred. To say it resulted in an emotional roller coaster for me is an understatement.  I am still in disbelief. I'm surprised it happened and it could happen.  But isn't that where faith comes in? All things are judged, may be not on earth but there will be a time for decisions to be judged.

I spent some time this afternoon writing things down to try and shed some light onto my mental turmoil. Can you believe I had the "Sunday-night" feeling last night even though I knew I wasn't in work. What's that all about?

One thing that has been revealed is the anger I feel towards the company. Then trying to find out why I realised I have let the experience define my significance. Why? The ones making the decisions I am maybe insignificant to (just a name on paper), yet the ones I work with am a valued member of the team. I seemed to have got things mixed up a bit. At least I have something to work on instead of a mixed up head in all of this.

One thing that has got to me is a phrase in the letters I've received. One of the paragraphs starts with "  'the company' acknowledges ..." Something along the lines of the effect of restructuring has had. It's all very well acknowledging things, yet acknowledging also carries a responsibility with it. We can all acknowledge things and carry on in the same way. But is it the best thing to do? Acknowledging a negative response to something I do surely should prompt a change in behaviour?

Isn't it time for organisations to take responsibility for their actions?