Time for TEAM

I realise I haven't said much about my job. It is a job worth waiting for. Although I got to the point of applying for any admin jobs I've been blessed with a job I've been searching for. To understand why I'm saying it's such a blessing we need to go back a few years. I think back to around December 2006.

I used to work as an administrator for NSPCC in Norwich. For a couple of reasons I had to leave that job. It was a hard thing to walk away from but at the time I felt I had to do that. In December 2006 I applied for a similar role at Sure Start in Norwich. I had a great interview and felt very positive only to have a phone call that evening to say that I hadn't been successful. But what a phone call that was - it was the best job rejection I have ever, and since, had. I was told if they hadn't had a temp doing the job I would have been offered the job and not to give up as I was exactly what a children's charity needs and to keep looking.

So I did start looking.

Being in Norfolk was very limiting. Either charities didn't have offices in Norfolk or there weren't any vacancies. So I broadened the search area. I searched England, Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland. I wasn't hopeful with Northern Ireland but thought I'd give it a go. Wow, there were options for roles in Belfast. I sat there with a sense of being directed there. I was trying hard to ignore it and became more and more thoughtful. I came to the conclusion and prayer that if it was a God-calling it would have to be much more than getting a job in Belfast.

I pushed that thought to the back of my mind as I had got another job for another 18 months or so.

In September 2007 started my adventures in Serbia. I cannot remember when Trish and David said they were called to church planting in Belfast but I know it put me in a bit of confusion. I still felt I had to spend time in Serbia but felt a buzz in me about Belfast. When I first heard it was a bit scary being reminded of the jobs in Belfast.

So Belfast first came on my radar because of jobs with children's charity. After many months and numerous applications I lost track of what jobs I had applied for. I started to get interviews which was a way forward. One of the jobs was at Belfast Metropolitan College for the Prince's Trust TEAM Programme. It didn't dawn on me until I received the offer letter that this wasn't just an admin job in a college. It was working for a charity with youth and felt much more than just an administration role.

Looking back at the interview I realise how God had directed and guided me. This was the second interview I had with the college but at a different campus. When I walked in I recognised 2 of the panel - they had been at the first interview. I felt that as I hadn't got the previous job I wasn't going to get this one either so I relaxed completely. The answers were quick in coming and in detail as I didn't really think about the answers first.

So you know how I got the job but not much about the job. This is the fun part. The TEAM Programme is a 12-week personal development plan for 16-25 year olds out of education, not working. A chance for them to get motivated into finding jobs, next course and to gain some qualifications.

It was amazing to be part of TEAM 11 and get to know them. Because I spend 4 days a week at Central I got to know the guys better than on the other sites. It was a weird start - I felt I was sitting back and observing how things went for quite a few weeks and even after getting to know some of the team of I still held back a bit. In a way I'm glad I did as I found it really hard when they left.

It is so amazing to see the difference in the finishers to how they started. I'm with my second team and they are so different again. I'm really pleased that the "admin" role is not in some remote office with no contact with TEAM members. OK, I don't have much contact with them but part of that is me not getting too close to them as I don't want to take on too much.

It is an eye opener working with these TEAM's. It's so easy to blinkered about the problems some of the youth have. I feel I am getting a better understanding from a small group. Not that everyone on the programme has problems but on some of the TEAM's there are some with the stereotypical attitudes.

For years I always felt I would work with small children but again I'm being challenged to communicate with young adults - the group I would cross the road to avoid a few years ago. Who knows where this is going to lead - but you know what, even if I stay as the Administrator at the mo I can see myself happy with that.

Where did I start?

http://flic.kr/p/9SR79

My blog description says about how I got to"where I am". I find it amazing to look back and see how far I've come. So should I start with my testimony? Do you know something I think I will as it's a good place and I can share some of my passions with you and maybe you'll get to know me a little bit better in the process

I, like so many other people, thought that being christened as a baby automatically made me a Christian. I said a prayer now and again, went to church when we went back to Wales, which was about it.  

My parents were believers but didn’t go to Church when I was growing up. Before we moved to Essex (where I grew up) I know they were very active in their local church. When we moved we couldn’t find a church they liked. They tried different ones every now and again – no-one would speak to us.

I thought I turned my back on God when my parents died. I was 17 when my dad came home from work and had a heart attack. I was (a very young) 20 when my mum died of cancer. I had finished college in the June. I had been told she was not going to be healed. She became progressively worse over the next month and I made an unconscious decision not to look for work but stay and look after her. She died in the November. I didn’t understand why they had died and I started to look for an answer. I read lots about different religions and took bits and pieces and followed my own way.

I held onto my grief for a very long time and was angry with those around me (mainly my brother - sorry). I suffered from depression for many years following the death of my mum having good and bad times. Looking back it seems as if I was on self-destruct. I began looking in the wrong places to heal my pain - mainly in the arms of men. If a man showed me interest I would pursue him, sometimes it developed into a relationship sometimes only for a few hours. I felt good and loved for a while but when I was back on my own the loneliness and rejection was overwhelming at times which would make me search more company.

I was taking lots of time off work and hit a bad time and couldn't go on and had some time off. I was becoming more and more agoraphobic (scared to go outside the house) and very scared about losing my brother and had to keep tabs on him. Thankfully he was seeing Barbie (now his wife) who was very understanding and would phone me each morning after she had seen him at her burger van to let me know he was ok.

Work didn't seem to be too understanding, at least it seemed that way but I now wonder if they thought they could shock me back to work by threatening me with losing my job. They paid for a couple of blocks of counselling for me which I went to. It got to the last one they had paid for and it was suggested I took over the responsibility. I did not have much money to spare but found it from cutting back on other areas. I did open up and faced a lot of things I had tried to ignore. I had tried counselling several times before but it didn't work. This time was different. I think I was in the right place to face the hurt and pain. I still had a long way to go but had made a significant start.

I think it was my third visit to Church before I moved and heard about Grace – about how God will welcome a person back despite what they have done in their life. This was an amazing revelation. I’ve heard a lot about it since and am still learning. That evening back home in Essex I couldn’t sleep, I had too many words whizzing round my head. I had to get up and write them down. What appeared on the paper was a prayer. I was astonished – it was a prayer for my Niece who had to spend the night in hospital. I had forgotten how to pray but I was writing one. I thought when I had finished I’d be able to get to sleep. Wrong – I had to keep writing, this is how I felt at the time:

I took time to listen, I took time to see
God is all around us, God is with me
Thank you for welcoming me back
Thank you for allowing me in
Life has much more meaning
Feeling God within
No longer lonely, I don’t feel so alone
A new life to build, I feel I’ve found home

The next amazing thing to happen was my decision to leave Essex and move to East Dereham, Norfolk. I knew it was something I had to do. Jon Beardon said something interesting – I was responding to God’s call before becoming a Christian!

 
I’m here in East Dereham, a few months go by, I start going to Church then I hear about JC21 in Attleborough. I thought I‘d go and see what it was all about. At the end there was a call for people who want to be saved. I knew I didn’t want to go up the front. I was able to resist a little while – I wanted to make sure I was doing this for me and not because others wanted me to. I was asking God to let me know what to do when one leg moved, then the other, my legs were moving my body to the front – I didn’t know why I was there but I did know I had to be there.
 
Asking Jesus to come into my life was a great experience. I’m trusting in him now and asking him for help. I found that so difficult, I’ve been used to not asking for help that often, but now it may be a few times through the day! I made the decision to get baptised a couple of months after being a Christian.
 
I got involved with my cell group and still had up and down times where I would withdraw and disappear. Cell group did the Freedom In Christ course. I made a decision to fully participate. I thought this was the next step. I faced quite a few difficult issues around forgiveness towards others and also to forgive myself. It took a couple of months to address some issues but I am so glad I did. It has allowed the Holy Spirit to bring healing into my life. At the time I had taken myself off the antidepressants as I could not afford to pay the prescription. I haven't needed to go back on them or even thought about doing so for nearly 2 years now.
 
About a month after finishing the Freedom in Christ course I found myself on the New Frontiers website looking at Change Life trips, being drawn to one to the Ukraine. I had just missed the closing date of this. Unknown to me at this time there was a team being formed to go to Serbia in the September. I mentioned what I had found on the website to Trish, friend at church and also the wife of the person organising the team (isn't it amazing how God puts the pieces together, or is it us that puts the pieces together after God has prepared the way?). The next thing I know is David asking "So you're coming to Serbia then?". I immediately said "Yes" and thought why did I answer so quickly..... tbc

I'm going to end for now as I do not want to rush through some important moments of my life so far. I will continue shortly.