To Serbia, With Love

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Continuing my testimony - I had just said "yes" to being part of a team to Serbia ...

Saying "Yes" to joining the team was the easy part. The following months leading up to going out were such a roller-coaster ride of emotions. I learned such a lot in a short space of time. There were moments when I was ready to say "forget it, I'll stay at home". I began to recognise the moments of doubt and rode through them. Once I had persevered through each one something significant occurred either immediately or very soon afterward. Unfortunately I cannot remember any to share with you.

What did I learn? Sometimes when we are walking God's path and being obedient we are spiritually attacked. It is a choice to crumble or stand and fight. Another important thing I learned was God gives each of us gifts - sometimes they are for a season, others for longer, sometimes it's part of our personality. I hadn't been a Christian long and seemed to see so much in other Christians and not much in me. I began to accept myself for myself - not to measure myself against others. We are all on a walk and all at different stages and we all different things to learn.

I read before going to Serbia about life changing trips people have had. Little did I know what an impact 10 days would have on me. When we landed in Serbia and arrived in Nis it felt very familiar, as if I knew the place. It reminded me of Russia (I was fortunate to be involved in a student exchange in 1990). It had the same feel, look and smell.

I had only been there 3 days when I was getting upset about coming home. I tried hard to put that aside to enjoy the time. I thought it may be like other times I've been away and really liked a place and not want it to end. It was great to be part of a team and get to know them.

I was out of my comfort zone. At times I did feel completely out of my depth but kept on pushing myself. It made me realise how much could be done if only I keep on pushing.

Friendships were made both within the team and with Serbians (I won't name names out of fear of missing out someone and offending them - how British is that?!). It is good to know the friendships are ongoing even after a year.

I used to think I had a heart for working with children but here I was making friends with young adults. I used to be scared of teenagers and upwards but it opened my eyes to youth. If I could speak to younger people in a foreign country I could do it at home.

I think that has been a pattern since coming home - doing things in a local church. As my passion for the Nations grows so does my passion for my local church.

After coming home in September 2007 I planned to make a return journey as soon as I could - which was December 2007. It was a good time to go back - colder weather (not being seduced by sunshine),fewer British and able to see what it could be like spending time out there. This gave a different view of Serbia, but still one I liked. It was an event to get back out - I had a flight booked for the 24th December, only to find out after 3 hours at the airport it was cancelled. I have never seen such a long, slow moving queue before - I waited another 3 hours to find another flight. I was able to spend a week in Serbia.

At that time my contract for my job was ending in May 2008 so I started to work towards going back to Serbia for a year. Things were difficult and didn't seem to moving in the right direction. After lots of prayer it was decided to put the plans on hold for a while. I still did as much as I could to move things along and remained open. At the time I felt it definitely would not happen in 2008 so engaged more in Wellspring.

There had been lots of ladies over a long period of time at Wellspring saying about having a ladies breakfast. I prayed about it and realised that perhaps I should start things. I think one reason for it not happening sooner was because we didn't have our own building, but that reason had gone. I felt a great need to bring us,the ladies, together in fellowship and thought this may be a good way to start it. Over the following months other people have been involved in organising which is great - it is being shaped by the ladies that attend and it's interesting to see how it is evolving.

I went back to Serbia with a team in August 2008. It was a completely different focus, running a holiday club. I had helped at one or two MAD clubs and had limited experience. It was good to have a different focus as it helped me grow more. It was also good to be back in Nis and to explore. It also helped me pray about what my connection with Serbia was. Was it coming out on teams each year, or something else? Right up to the last day I thought that maybe it was being part of a team but something changed. I cannot explain what but I felt I had to come out longer-term and soon.

Now I am working towards going out to Serbia in January for 5 months. Unfortunately my Serbian language partner is in Novi Sad so am finding it difficult to get motivated to learn on my own. There are lots of other things to do but I think the preparation is an important time too. God has already done so much for me and it's so exciting wondering if He'll do more.